Patches of Godlight

Thorns

2012-01-28T20:15:00.028-06:00

He stands motionless in the woods at dusk. The descending nightshade heralds an uncertain outcome to his little escapade. He is trapped--completely and utterly, and finds himself in the midst of countless briars, unable to move lest he be pricked for the hundredth, the thousandth time. Threads of scarlet blood snake their way down his arms and legs, warm against the approaching chill night. But it is not the advancing shadows he fears, nor the cold, but the sharp pang of his solitary existence--so desolate that the thorns eventually become his friends in the forsaken place. With a frantic mind devoid of reason, he imagines a great chamber of marble, like one might see in a king's palace. The marble is white, white as new-fallen snow, and the ceiling is so high that the eye can scarcely capture it. But suspended from it on great black chains is his heart, hovering just above the floor. It beats ever faster, never once slowing its rabid pace. What drives it on so is indiscernible at first glance, but as one lingers upon the scene, the reason is with horror seen...The walls, the deceptively pure marble walls, are closing in, inch by inch, moment by moment, hour by hour. The heart is attempting to escape, and beats, for it cannot sprout legs and run. The chains hold it secure, preventing its rise. For indeed, if the chains had fallen away, the heart, his heart, would have risen long ago, up and up, even unto the faraway ceiling, and so further onward, further in and further up. But for so long has it been chained, though it recalls the days when the once magnificent marble walls were but a pleasant backdrop on the horizon. It was unaware of the chains then, so blissful had it been within its ceaseless introspection. But as Time wore on, the chains became all too visible and therefore unavoidable, and grew and grew until the heart could scarcely be seen. And as the walls marched forward, they too expanded, until their pearl white became a hated visage, and their featureless surfaces a curse. The chains and the walls were at first labeled the sources of the heart's torment, but as the hourglass turned and turned again, it began to understand more and eventually reached its present state--the quickened beating, the throbbing exhaustion. Ah yes...it knew now...it was not the chains in themselves, nor was it the walls...but only the fear of being crushed alone, with no one to see...

His vision ends, and as his eyes open he observes that night has fully fallen in the woods. Within the darkness surrounding the briars he knows there lurk beasts, for he can hear their subtle footfalls and see yellow blinking lights, burning with malice and hunger. They have come to devour him, but he smiles sardonically as he realizes his briars are protecting him. The amusing irony soon vanishes however, and is replaced by horror when he glimpses one of the beasts, a great black wolf, approaching and the briars parting before it.

"Like the Red Sea," he thinks.

The wolf growls, its demon eyes full of a dreaded promise--"The Reaper has come, and you are alone."

He cries, he screams, he twists this way and that, thorns burying themselves in tired flesh. Terror overtakes his soul and the blackness about is now like a great well of ink and he but a helpless ant within. The wolf bares its great fangs, and a hateful laugh pours from its fetid soul. Its fur bristles with anticipation of the kill and with relish for his pain and fear. He realizes that he is helpless before the onslaught...so weak...so, so weak. It truly is something to be scorned and laughed at, and the great wolf does both as it stalks toward him.

"Oh foolish human! Why have you been caught here like this? Did you not realize that my woods are full of such briars?"

He ceases fighting his cage for a moment to stare at the wolf. "What?" He stammers, choked by his tears, then protests, "I...I did not come here of my own free will!"

The black wolf pauses, blinks, then tosses back its snout and howls a great howl of laughter, and is soon joined by its many companions still concealed within the night. The shadow wolf lowers its head and directs its piecing eyes to him. "Foolish captive! I suppose you would blame a fellow human being for leading you in here, or perhaps you'd be so bold as to blame your Father...if your Father he still is, which I doubt... for if he was, you would not be in my woods."

He is speechless before the beast's accusation, for he knows its truth. All clever justifications are gone, departed from the mind he has so carelessly abused! 'It is the Fool who is right in his own eyes'...those words echo within his empty head, searing him with their light.

And the wolf is not finished berating him, with a vicious snarl, it speaks once more. "For so many years you sought your own pleasure, foolish man. You lived for yourself entirely, even when doing things for others. Every good action you performed was undermined by idolization of your own decaying self. My my, and how clever you thought you were! How humble and contrite in your 'search' for truth! Oh fool, oh wretched, wretched fool...could you not see, could you not awaken to the fact that Truth stood just out of your sight the entire time? All you had to do was turn, open your eyes, see it, embrace it, and heed its voice. But...you did not...you chose instead to steal glimpses and whispers of it, adding them all the while to your own perceptions and love of self. And now, after a long journey--what has seemed to you a mere 'escapade'--you have come here, to my woods, entirely of your own--how did you put it? Oh Yes!--free will.

He trembles, his soul barren, and all strength gone. No more will he fight the briars, for he himself had stepped right into them, if only to clutch one deceptive rose that wilted in his hand as soon as it was grasped. He walked here with his own two feet every step of the way, occasionally accompanied, but eventually abandoned all together. His constant insistence upon clinging to his own self-worth and precious little opinions had driven everyone away from him...even the Father himself it seems. But he will not cry out to him for mercy now...his shame is far too great, and there is no mercy to be found in the black wood.

The wolf begins its advance once more, and is soon close enough that he could have reached out a hand and laid hold of its fur. The wolf keeps its eyes upon him the entire time, looking to the task of devouring him, or of dragging him out to be torn apart by the other beasts. His terror is extreme, so much so that he barely hears the wolf's final triumphant words...

"AND NOW, foolish man, die alone!"

He sees the great and terrible black wolf rear back on its haunches to begin the leap for his throat. Time ceases and all becomes a steady hum of penetrating and all-consuming fear. His soul withers, and his heart is compressed by its marble prison. He shuts his eyes tightly, hot tears streaming--'It is appointed man once to die.' As he feels the wolf's fiery breath descending upon him he thinks he hears the tinkling of a bell afar off. In that place where Time had stopped, he listens harder, and again hears the sound, except now he knows it to be a voice. Inside his weary mind he asks frantically, "what did you say?"

Suddenly, so much so that he jerks with surprise, the voice becomes clear--a beautiful voice, a woman's voice, the most glorious voice his ears have ever heard--and it says:

"Look up!"

He cannot think of denying its request. And so, as the wolf's hungry jaws are about to snap shut around his neck, he looks up, and when he looks up he sees through twisted branches...

stars...

He sees billions of brilliant stars...

and within them stands the Father...

...waiting...

...waiting...there the whole time...just out of sight.

It Is Not Good...

2012-01-25T11:15:00.002-06:00

I miss you.

Prayer With Shoes On

2012-01-23T00:16:00.002-06:00

My first video blog. Sort of long-winded, but a start anyway.

Prayer with Shoes On from John Hollback on Vimeo.

DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE...

2012-01-18T22:31:00.002-06:00

Relationship

2012-01-16T11:21:00.033-06:00

"And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity."
--Matthew 7:23

What does it really mean to know Jesus? Is he more to me than just a mental concept I acknowledge, or a list of lifestyle rules I attempt to follow? Do I value him as one values a true love or dear friend? Do I separate the salvation found through Christ from the relationship he calls me to have with him? His teachings make clear that his salvation is a relationship with him--not a contract between God and I, and not some heavenly insurance policy which guarantees coverage of my sins and a safe passage to heaven when I die. The core Greek word of 'believe' as found in our English Bible means to place faith in a person--to trust and commit to them. The 'belief' that Jesus spoke of as being central to salvation was and is not a mere mental assent to a statement or statements, rather it is a foundation for relationship, to truly knowing an individual. But how many years have I spent living as though the former were true! I claim to have a relationship with God, but do I truly? Is 'relationship' merely the title I give to the words I speak to an unseen, faraway spiritual being who I really have no concrete awareness of? The atheist's response would be simple: "God does not exist you ignorant nincompoop! You're attempting to conjure up an interaction with a mystical concept, so no wonder you're frustrated!" Well, that is the easy way out, but the truth is rather more complicated than a post-modern 'enlightened' intellectual would have one think. The tormenting part is that I have seen God, in the sense that I've been aware of his Spirit's presence and have observed him working in my life and in the lives of others, often in small ways, but sometimes in big ways. So, I know of Jesus, but do I know him? I find myself reaching a point of utter frustration, and feel as if my faith is going nowhere. I am still sinning in action and thought, clearly contradicting the righteousness that Jesus said results from salvation, aka, from a relationship with him. Such must indicate that I am either not in a relationship with him, or that it is not an intimate one. Is it a sterile, business-like relationship? In short, do I love Jesus? He spoke of love as being the essence of the believing life--"This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you" (John 15:12). Do I not love him as I should because I feel he does not love me? Perhaps that is at the core of my failure to know him as he is. But why would I think even for a moment that God does not love me? Maybe because I grew up in Church with a knowledge of him and yet still remain in sin? Or is it the fact that I claim his name as a husband would his wife's, yet I often live and think as if I did not belong to him and he to me? Yes, how can God love such an unfaithful man as I? The world is full of men and women, even here in America, that have not heard the gospel of salvation, and who are entirely ignorant of Jesus' name. So what more would God do with me, since I have both heard and seen? What can he say to a man who lives the average hypocritical Christian life, though he might hate it with every inch of his soul? I am tired, I am weary, and I am sick to death of 'insurance policy' salvation. I desire to know Jesus Christ, to experience his love for me, and to then live out that love in my own life completely. But my flesh rebels against me, and my mind is my enemy. Can God reach me through such a fog? And I guess the overriding question for me is...does he even desire to?

I pray it is so.

The Great Loneliness

2012-01-10T20:16:00.032-06:00

"It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. He sitteth alone and keepeth silence, because he hath borne it upon him. He putteth his mouth in the dust; if so be there may be hope. He giveth his cheek to him that smiteth him: he is filled full with reproach. For the Lord will not cast off forever: But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men." --Lamentations 3:22-33

It is so easy to cut myself off from the presence of God. Be it through my sin or by mere earthly distractions of the day to day, there is a point at which I feel myself slipping from the hand of the Father. I know it is happening when I cease to be joyful and a great weight of loneliness settles over my soul. The mind is then susceptible to full-on attacks from the Enemy, and subject to doubts, suspicions, and fears. As communion is broken with the Father, so it begins to be fractured in my earthly relationships. When one selfishly hurts those closest to the heart, it only serves to re-double the already present loneliness, and to a point where your entire being becomes like a great empty house--all you can hear is your own screaming voice bouncing off the walls and striking you in the chest again and again. One learns to empathize with David when he said, "For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me." As a cold rain fell this evening, I sat alone in the loft I am currently putting a floor in. My little house was silent save for the pitter-patter of rain drops upon the metal roof. The growing darkness within the small space seemed to echo that which was present in my mind. As I stared at the ceiling, I felt every one of my twenty-three years (yeah I know, that probably reads hilarious to those who have walked this earth much longer than I), and seemed to see only pain and brokenness. "You are a SLAVE to sin," whispered a voice in my ear for the millionth time, "and you will ALWAYS be alone. God doesn't need you, God doesn't WANT you, and neither does anyone else. John, old friend, my advice is to shuck the whole thing and withdraw into yourself, because don't you know by now that you can only really ever trust yourself? So get up, dust off your jeans like a man, face the way the world REALLY works, and accept your utter aloneness." And so on and so on, I could write for pages about the Enemy's lies. I've only repeated part of them to make a point, which is this: If we as Christians are not diligent to maintain unity with God and oneness with Christ, we will surely begin to slide down a slippery slope, and the drop is lined with devils and Satan waits at the bottom with open arms to receive us. The New Testament offers a fellowship of love with Jesus Christ, the glory and joy of which is beyond anything this world can tempt us with. But diligence is required to maintain that fellowship in the midst of a wicked and perverse generation. I consider these words of Jesus about abiding in his love--

"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me...If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full." --John 15:4,10-11

I fear no darkness, but sometimes I wonder if that is more of a liability than an asset. So often during times like these I attempt to have a dialog with the Enemy, when I ought to just flat-out rebuke him by Christ's power. Lending an ear to whispered deception is like taking poison little by little--eventually it will kill you. Like the proverbial frog in the boiling pot, you will never notice the degree of your plight until it is far too late. But for the Christian there is a remedy; Jesus is present to pull us from the pit of loneliness/despair if we humble ourselves and cry out to him. Sometimes (ahem, like now) I feel that since I've let Christ down, it is therefore MY responsibility to deal with my failing and climb out of the pit via my own efforts, which works about as good as assembling an automobile with Elmers glue...that is to say, NOT AT ALL. With such a human approach, I am doomed to slide back down into the pit (barring the use of some hallucinogenic psychotropic drug of course, but I digress). There is no way to be fully renewed save through falling back into the merciful arms of Jesus, which I might add, remained in the EXACT same place throughout my entire self-inflicted ordeal. So, fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, forsake the 'Great Loneliness' and get back into communion with Jesus Christ.

Why, again, did I ever leave it?

Sigh.

2012-01-04T22:48:00.019-06:00

Nine days before his death, Rich Mullins sat down in an abandoned church house to record the demos for an upcoming album he called, "ten songs about Jesus." Though he was killed before the official album was made, the nine demos he completed remain a powerful and moving testimony to his relationship with and knowledge of Jesus Christ. I cannot begin to adequately express what these raw demos, captured on a tape recorder, have meant to me in my spiritual life. What I have always admired the most about Rich Mullins is his honesty--a dedication to speaking the truth amidst a generation of itching ears. Whether one completely agrees with the things he said or not, there is no denying that he was motivated by the love of Jesus only. That is why his last few 'songs about Jesus' are so precious and meaningful--they came straight from his soul. He sings of the dirty brokenness of humanity--of our pain, our struggles and sinfulness, tearing away the masks of complacency and apathy we so often adopt. But he does so to lift up the glory of the Cross and Jesus' sacrifice. His beloved Jesus was made of flesh just like me--he sweated and bled, wept and grew weary--but he was also the Son of God, sent to teach, guide, and die for us. Though the song quality is scratchy and Rich's voice rough, his love for Jesus is communicated clearly, as well as a longing to be drawn into closer fellowship with God the Father. Perhaps he realized in his spirit that he would soon be singing his songs before Jesus in Heaven. The demo tape ends with a stirring track titled "That Where I am," which echoes the words that the risen Jesus spoke to his disciples before ascending to Heaven. In it there is a line that goes, "One command I leave you, to love as I have loved." Today, that is the command I seek to follow, for the entire Law of God rests upon love (Matthew 22:36-40). Without love for God and love for our neighbor we are nothing, which is a truth that Rich Mullins understood and practiced. It is my prayer that the same truth would be made a reality within my own heart.

'Nothing is Beyond You' (Inspired by Psalm 139)

An Unquestioning Faith

2011-12-22T23:11:00.046-06:00

"Closeness to God is not about feelings, closeness to God is about obedience." --Rich Mullins

We Christians today have been assailed and battered with countless doctrinal debates, inheriting a sad lineage of Church splits and denominational disputes. In the midst of human pride and false religion, it is quite easy to forget the simple truths and lessons revealed in Scripture. The story of the virgin Mary as found in Luke's Gospel is one such example. Looking back on the Catholic Church's veneration of her, it might be tempting to steer clear of singing Mary's praises, but I intend to do so anyway. The shining example she gives us in Scripture ought not be ignored or minimized because of fallen man's infatuation with crafting idols for his own sinful convenience. The Mary of the Bible provides the Christian with a beautiful picture of what obedience to God looks like, and specifically in the face of uncertainty.

"And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be. And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end. Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man? And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God. And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren. For with God nothing shall be impossible. And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her". --Luke 1:28-38

Mary's initial reaction to the angel's words was fear, though he had quite plainly stated that she was highly favored of the Lord and blessed among women. I find in her reaction a similarity to how I myself often respond to what God has said. In his Word he has declared me his child, a joint-heir with his son Jesus, and a recipient of the salvation born of his love for me. But often my reaction to those precious truths is uncertainty and fear--"Can God be serious when he says these things? And if so, what does it mean for me?" Despite her troubled mind, Mary listens to the angel's message and learns that she will give birth to the Son of God. I imagine that most young women would doubtless faint with shock at such a statement, or at the very least seek more information. However, Mary's response was one of unquestioning obedience. It is probably safe to say that she did indeed have questions in her mind, and perhaps her earlier fear had not entirely subsided, but she chose to exercise complete faith in the spoken words of God. She trusted the angel when he said that, "for with God shall nothing be impossible." How opposite from my often first-reaction to God's Word! Sometimes I try to wiggle out of obedience, doubting the Lord and blaming my unbelief on his supposed unwillingness to 'meet me half way'. I allow my human feelings and emotions to dictate my faith in God. Equating healthy spirituality with positive human feelings and emotions is a deadly trap for the faithless Christian. So many are in Church for the emotional thrill of it, and should their current group cease to tantalize carnal desires, they are soon off to greener pastures. Similarly, the Christian who is 'searching' for God in fuzzy feelings and emotional fulfillment will always come up disappointed and disillusioned. He shuns the path of pure obedience because it is hurtful to his flesh, and in the end he either leaves Christ entirely or merely gives him lip-service. Perhaps we have all neglected the crucial role of unconditional obedience in the Christian life. So many of us are like the stony-ground hearers that Jesus speaks of in Mark chapter four, receiving his word with gladness only to then fall away when affliction arises. God has promised in his Word that he will never leave us or forsake us if we abide in his love. Jesus promises that joy will result from obedience to his commandments, not a carnal joy born of self-fulfillment, but a heavenly joy that springs from a oneness of relationship with God the Father:

"As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full." --John 15:9-11

Mary chose to abide in faith, and her obedience was rewarded with joy and praise for God. A little further on in Luke's Gospel, she has this to say:

"And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord, and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour. For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed. For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name." --Luke 1:46-49

As Christmas approaches once again, may I choose to follow Mary's example, and look for the righteousness that comes only through obedient faith in Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour.

Merry Christmas

Joy

2011-12-06T23:15:00.011-06:00

Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.
--2 Corinthians 9:15

The mercies of Christ are astounding, and daily over the past month I have been reminded of it. In the midst of a great weight of sadness that had threatened to overtake me, he has given me an "unspeakable gift," something so blessed and precious that I fear to hold it lest it shatter in my hands. As a slowly unfolding flower, this gift reveals more of itself with the passing of time, and each stage brings with it a more exquisite beauty. I pray only for the strength and wisdom to guide and protect that beauty, to provide a safe haven in which it can fully develop and blossom. At this great gift God has given me I can only wonder, and but share this testimony: that faith is rewarded and that God desires to give good gifts to his children.

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. --Jeremiah 29:11-13

Sometimes by Step

2011-11-21T20:38:00.002-06:00

Every now and then I rediscover this video and the truths it contains, both in Rich's introduction and in the song itself. Christ's truth is steadfast and eternal--it never runs from me, I flee from it. To stand and face such truth is to be destroyed, nothing less, but the loss is an infinite gain--Such is the mystery of God and the hope found through his Christ.

Intimate with Grief

2011-11-13T21:57:00.007-06:00

Tonight I searched the stars...it has become a fond habit of mine. The Universe is so quiet on a starlit night, devoid of the rush of the day and the ceaseless chatter of human beings. It is always an opportunity for me to still my soul and listen--listen for the ancient silence that Abraham and Moses knew in the wide desert, or that Jesus experienced as he wandered the Judean wilderness. Tonight, as is so often the case when all is quiet, my mind settled upon my sister, Layla. As the tears flowed in the darkness, I looked up at the innumerable host of stars above me, wondering once again if perhaps she could see me so far beneath heaven. Silently, I asked the Son why--why had he taken her? What was the point of all this? How long has man searched the darkened sky, pleading and beseeching the heavens for an answer to the grief and loneliness of mortal life? Despair comes when we view God as something far removed from ourselves, an emotionless potentate who dictates his will from a throne so distant as to be rendered obsolete amidst the onslaught of earthly trials. I attempted to read the stars, grief clutching at my heart and my mind wondering if the Creator of such a vast Universe regarded me at all, or knew what it felt like to sit at a bedside and watch a loved one pass from the world. Then in the night, beneath that blanket of stars, an answer came, falling from heaven and dispelling my despair...two words...only two words...

"Jesus Wept"

The Ups and Downs of Tricks and Treats

2011-10-26T00:33:00.035-05:00

Fall is upon this place...it echos in the colorful wood, vibrates in the field, and lends the entire world an air of mystery. In a few days, millions of people will be celebrating a 'holiday' commonly labeled 'Halloween.' In the minds of most, it is but an innocent foray into the realm of make-believe and merriment. Costumes are sought and purchased, candies of all shapes and sizes grace the shopping carts of the average American family, all in anticipation and preparation for one night, the 31rst of October, Halloween. I used to really enjoy the day and the celebrating, I embraced the world of the unknown, glimpsing a realm both foreign and now I must say, spiritually enticing. However, these days it is quite a different story. You will not see me dressing up as some colorful character, nor will you glimpse me at a Halloween party sampling the blood-red punch. I have reached a point in my life where I know things I would be happier not knowing, but they are things that I absolutely cannot in good conscience ignore. I will not take part in Halloween because it is a day dedicated to the Devil, lock, stock, and barrel, and those who outwardly follow him have no qualms about hiding that truth. The following is a quote from the renowned witch, Doreen Valiente:

"Halloween is one of the four Great Sabbats of the witches that everyone has heard about. To witches, Halloween is a serious occasion, however merrily celebrated. It is the old Celtic Eve of Samhain. With the coming of Christianity, the Church tried to Christianize the old festival by making the 1rst of November 'All Saints Day', or 'All Hallows' as the old term was. Thus Samhain Eve became All Hallows Eve, or Halloween. But attempts to discourage the pagan celebrations were so unavailing that the festival was eventually banned from the Church calendar. It was not until 1928 that the Church of England formally restored All Hallows to its calendar, on the assumption that the old pagan associations of Halloween were at last really dead and forgotten; a supposition that was certainly premature."

It might be tempting to say, "So what? Just because a few crackpots view Halloween as a sacred pagan festival doesn't mean I have to...To each his own after all, and I am free in Christ." But such an excuse cannot stand if one is to acknowledge the serious manner in which the scriptures deal with pagan rituals and practices. I guess to get really radical one might quote, "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" (Exodus 22:18), if only to illustrate God's hatred for witchcraft, sorcery, etc. In the Old Testament he gives specific instructions to his people concerning disposal of satanic religions:

Ye shall utterly destroy all the places, wherein the nations which ye shall possess served their gods, upon the high mountains, and upon the hills, and under every green tree: And ye shall overthrow their altars, and break their pillars, and burn their groves with fire; and ye shall hew down the graven images of their gods, and destroy the names of them out of that place (Deuteronomy 12:2-3).

As one can read, occult religions and practices were utterly detestable to God--something which certainly did not change with the arrival of the New Covenant. Though Christians are not called to build a physical holy nation upon the earth, and so therefore are not to go about violently eradicating works of witchcraft, we are nonetheless told to separate ourselves from such things:

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove [them]. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret (Ephesians 5:11-12).

How is a Christian having fellowship with darkness if he or she and the family are simply engaging in innocent fun on Halloween? What many churchgoers do not realize is that supposedly 'harmless' practices like 'trick or treat' have their origins in satanic ritual. While the specific custom of children asking for and receiving candy on October 31rst could possibly be no more than one-hundred years old, the pagan Druidic roots of the practice are clear. In olden times, Halloween was associated with an outpouring of evil spirit activity, necessitating an 'appeasement' of those entities with gifts of food or by human/animal sacrifices. The modern Christian parent who permits his/her child to partake in trick or treat is unconsciously allowing them to carry on a ritual whose lineage is rooted in devil worship and occult superstitions. The carving and lighting of a pumpkin can also be traced to an ancient practice of forming demon faces in gourds and pumpkins to frighten off evil spirits, while the candles placed within them represented the souls of the departed.

Whether the modern Christian chooses to acknowledge these occult associations or ignore them and pretend they do not matter is irrelevant. I believe the question Christians should be asking is, "What does Satan think about it?" Do we not think that Christ's enemy will use everything and anything within his power to corrupt us? Does he not take delight in the fact that we are sending our little children out into the dark to mimic (albeit 'innocently') the rituals of satanic cults? Will he not take advantage of the ties with the demonic that many Halloween traditions possess? If one is honest, they must acknowledge the truth of the issue, which is: Halloween is a day dedicated to the Devil and his demons, not only in ancient pagan practice, but in modern witchcraft/satanism itself. While your more mainstream witch or satanist might not engage in animal/human sacrifice on Halloween, there are many other inconspicuous types who do. Though the common churchgoer will doubtless scoff at that statement, I can only point to the countless reports given by ex-hardcore satanists and even by children within this country's foster care system who were forced to participate in and witness brutal rituals. It might be an ugly truth and one that most will choose to ignore, but the responsibility required in possessing the knowledge stands and each one of us will be held accountable for it one day. It is my belief that Christians have a moral obligation to severe all attachments to Halloween, and that includes any 'replacement' rituals a church might put on--celebrating at all on Halloween is consciously setting the day apart to be remembered and is therefore communing with the Devil and his servants who view the day as theirs and theirs alone.

My prayer is that we Christians will choose the higher path. The Christian life is not all innocent fun and games, we are in the midst of a pitched spiritual war, and attempting to brush evil aside as if it does not exist is only inviting its influence to grow--May we remember that the next time we are tempted to put little plastic devil horns on a child and send them off into the shadows to dance with demons.

*I did not even hit on the outwardly disgusting elements of modern Halloween celebrations that have been embraced with open arms by many American families--Those would include the glorification of killing and death, blood and gore, things which your average parent would shun and be repulsed by all the other days of the year. In a world where serial killers and violence are a very present reality, it truly shows the utter blindness cast by the Halloween spell when an average Christian will suddenly go from despising murder and violence to plopping fake bloody eyeballs into their bowl of blood-red punch!

Some References:

http://www.believersweb.org/view.cfm?ID=614 (Halloween's Occult Connections)

http://www.ra-info.org/resources/ra_cases2.shtm (Satanic Ritual Abuse Cases)

http://www.realwitches.com/id25.htm (The Perspective of Witches)

Reflections from High Up

2011-09-06T11:00:00.014-05:00

In the mountains of Colorado, the dry air has a strange habit of clarifying and sharpening the mind. Over the span of a week, my brain seemed to lift from the dense fog in which it had previously been entrapped. Our family used to live here in the mountains, and it has been 8 years since we left with no visits in between. It is like being home in many ways, the familiar outline of the Sangre de Cristo mountain range was a memory that had never left me and as we meandered down into the Wet Mountain Valley there they were, still and tranquil, as they had always been. It certainly reminded me of the nature of my mortality, as well as the reality of eternal things. How many lives and ages have those mountains witnessed? As the Psalmist said, man's days are as the grass, we pass away and the place we were remembers us no more. The fact of my limited fleshly existence has been increasingly on my mind of late. I've been forced to repeatedly ask myself, "What are you really about John?". Most of us spend our short lives attempting to build little cocoons of security, often elaborate schemes to seemingly convince ourselves that we are not mortal after all. Women plaster their faces with cosmetics to look younger, 50 year old men leave their wives and attempt to recapture the carefree nature of their youths--all in an effort to ward off the looming specter of age and death. The illusion is a pitiful one, not only because old age will inevitably claim us all, robbing us of our youth and vitality, but because death is a constant certainty for the old as well as the young--it shows no partiality. As I have learned, it can claim a 28 year old young woman as easily as one confined to a nursing home bed. There is no way to avoid the truth, and for an individual to really and truly be 'living in reality' as the saying goes, should he/she not daily be conscious of death's face and live their lives accordingly? I am not speaking of the 'eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die' attitude, nor of some morbid fascination with death, but instead an enlightened existence that sees carnal mortality for the enemy that it truly is--a vision that acknowledges and understands the true minuscule nature of our life spans here on earth, and one that looks beyond them to a larger spiritual realm that is forever eternal--a view of true reality that begs a question in regard to the time we walk the earth: in the words of Francis Schaeffer, 'How then shall we live?'

2011-08-17T23:35:00.003-05:00

Father God, please have mercy on me, forgive my apathy

Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. --Matthew 7:13-21

2011-08-17T23:32:00.001-05:00

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.

O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints’ and angels’ song.

When years of time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men, who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,
God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—
The saints’ and angels’ song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky

A Dying Man's Last Words

2011-07-26T13:45:00.003-05:00

Here is a video of a man's last words, in which he speaks of a vision he had involving Hell and the need for man to be born again. I have included a transcription of the video but please watch it anyway, particularly 3:20-5:30.

"My idea was that as a sinner you have absolutely no security...because everything changes, the world changes, the seasons change, everything changes, your clothes wear out, your job wears out. So can you think of anything that does not change? How are you going to get security in an insecure world? Everything but one thing changes...Now...if you are...how do you get security? The only way you can get that security and become a Christian is you have to accept Christ, you have to accept him as he is. You must worship him in spirit and truth, so you have to become a member of God's family, then you will have all the security you will ever need. Your security is where are you going to go when you die. In this world we have the scriptures, and why we have the bible is because, it is the only direction you need to become severely wise. So after that you are in the family of God and now you have security. John 3 says unless you're born again you cannot see the kingdom of God. It says in the scripture unless you're born again you cannot enter into the heavens. Anyways, just being good and just saying you're a good fellow doesn't get it, because you cannot say you're living a good life and you're not hurting anybody. The point is you must be born again. If you had seen what I saw in the hospital, there would be no doubt in your mind forever, because Hell is so terrible, so awful. It goes as far as eternity, forever and ever. Once you're in Hell you're in Hell. The Lord gave me a glimpse of heaven and I saw an angel, I saw my guardian angel. And I also got a glimpse of Hell, and I'm telling you now, please listen, Hell is so bad, so awful, you have no idea how bad Hell is. Hell is terrible, a terrible place. I don't want to see anybody go there. I heard the murmurings that sounded like a thousand voices, all wailing at the same time. It was horrible. Please listen, there was a white cloud, mist came into the room. When he saw that it was getting to me... As soon as he got to me everything was bliss, perfect bliss. I'm telling you now you have to make your choice...I guess the thought to end my story is... Do not put your faith and trust in your money and houses and material things...You have to put it in something that never ever changes...And that's my story..."

Am I a Thomas or Just a Sinner?

2011-07-15T12:39:00.049-05:00

"The interesting thing about skeptics...atheists, is that they're always looking for proof...certainty. The question is, what on earth would we do if we found it?" --Father Lucas (Anthony Hopkins) in 'The Rite'

Ah, skeptics...America is full of them. Certain human beings like myself believe they have some innate right to question everything, you know, the 'ponder your own navel' type. Problem is, these people find it hard to believe or put their trust in anything 100%. You can imagine the difficulties such an attitude causes throughout life, specifically in relationships, and it shouldn't be surprising that it is the mortal enemy of faith. Certain lapsed Christians simply label themselves 'Doubting Thomases,' believing their need to see physical examples of God's existence makes them kindred spirits with Saint Thomas. Somehow we skeptics have convinced ourselves that it is quite all right to be in such a position, after all, did Jesus not reward Thomas' skepticism? Thing is though, I have a sneaking suspicion that modern Thomases would not be so easily satisfied as their supposed Biblical counterpart. Doubtless we of the 'enlightened' modern age would desire to subject the risen Christ to a DNA test or something like that, forcing him to run through a gamut of evaluations and 'proofs' of his divinity. Indeed, I do not think we skeptics of the 21rst century flavor are anything like Saint Thomas. Yes, Thomas was indeed a skeptic of sorts, but the man had his reasons, he had seen Christ crucified and was living in fear for his life. Thinking his fellow disciples delusional, he uttered his famous ultimatum. But when Jesus appeared, he knew exactly where Thomas' heart was:

Then saith he to Thomas, reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: and be not faithless, but believing. And Thomas answered and said unto him, My Lord and my God. Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed. -- John 20:27-29

Jesus does not condone the doubting of Thomas, he admonishes him, "Be not faithless, but believing," revealing that the life of faith is impossible to live in the midst of skepticism. And Thomas learns the lesson, falling to his knees and confessing his belief in Jesus' resurrection. I would call the doubting of Saint Thomas a 'beneficial' skepticism, a momentary lapse in the walk of faith that is quickly overcome and ultimately strengthens an individual's relationship with Jesus. But often our own skepticism is of a different brand entirely, it is no momentary lapse, but a terminal disease that must be expunged at all costs. I have diagnosed myself, and see the very same symptoms in so many others. Our 'healthy skepticism' is secretly a convoluted method of avoiding God. There is no seeking after Jesus in the equation, we do not run to him as Thomas did, rather we remain in our self-made prisons with arms crossed defiantly and ear plugs in, screaming at everyone who passes by that "if God wants to reveal himself to me, he will!" And in the meantime skeptics go about their own way, chalking their sins and mistakes up to bad luck or fate, wallowing in self-pity and lamenting, "if only God would reveal himself to me I would be better, I would know what to do and how to act." See, at heart, this particular type of skeptic is a coward, too cowardly for sacrifice, too cowardly for faith. The cowardice is topped off by an acute arrogance, cleverly disguised beneath a thin layer of put-on humility--after all, are not all skeptics humble by nature? Does not the questioning spirit reveal a heart that is searching for ultimate truth? I used to think and say those things, but now I snort at how pathetically self-serving they are. In reality, it is quite the opposite, the skeptic is so full of pride and self-love they can stand before a holy God and say, "I will not have faith until you perform for me." Such a person cannot, or rather chooses not to search God out for themselves, because that would require sacrifice and pain. They will not accept the reality that faith is a prize that must be fought for and won--if John Hollback wants to grow closer to God, then John must pray everyday, John must get away and fast, John must read the Bible and believe that every word is true and breathed of God. But John is lazy, very lazy, and he sure likes his pet habits and sins. How often have I sat on my rear waiting around for my own personal writing on the wall, as if God were a court jester and I the fat complacent monarch. But truth is, that John really does not want any proof at all, because he wouldn't know what to do with it if he received it. He would be forced to leave behind his apathy and elaborate intellectual justifications, he would have to admit the truth in these words: For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness (1 Corinthians 3:19). But Skeptic John could certainly never do that, because the skeptic lives and breathes man's wisdom, it is his crutch and his anchor, the source of all his security. Oh how wise I've perceived myself to be! How very cautious and intellectual compared to the drooling plebeians surrounding me...Ah yes, the self-glory of the skeptic is a sweet poison indeed, and the longer it is ingested the more absolute the eventual death will be. So I guess it all comes down to this fact: one cannot label themselves a 'Skeptic' and also claim the title of 'Christian'. The two are entirely incompatible--the life of the Believer is one fraught with trials and tribulations, and the Word of God offers one remedy for them all: faith.

For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith. -- 1 John 5:4

The life of the skeptic is one that sustains itself on constant questions and an unsatisfied spirit. It seeks something that can never be found and follows a circular path that begins and ends at the self. Faith is utterly foreign to the skeptic's mind, because that mind can comprehend carnality only, and so therefore looks for God solely on the carnal plain.

Such I have been, but to avoid being a skeptic again my desire for self-fulfillment must end and my desire for communion with Christ must increase.

In short, I can't be like this Hippo...

"Closeness" to God

2011-06-30T22:32:00.044-05:00

I've used the phrase many times myself--someone confronts me with an action I'm doing that is contrary to the Word of God and I offer this oft-uttered protest, "but, I've never felt closer to God!" Such words are often spoken with that put-on look of misunderstanding towards the accuser, as if you are astounded at their primitive ignorance. Thankfully, I have come to realize the true import of the cherished phrase, and now understand that it masks a life and heart that are anything but close to Christ. With each passing moment I grow more astounded at how utterly stupid human beings are, or perhaps how utterly carnal we are. By 'carnal' I do not necessarily mean 'sinful,' but rather in the biblical sense, which simply refers to our literal mortal state--to our being made up of flesh and naturally idolizing everything that has to do with the physical and visible plane of existence. We come into this world spiritually blinded and only receive that sight upon a genuine born again experience. But my oh my, how many of us are good pretenders! I spoke in an earlier post about how difficult it is to hear from God amidst the clamor of our carnal selves, and of how frequently Christians misinterpret their own emotions and feelings as God's will or divine approval. Well, never is this more true than when our carnality is running at full steam, and yet we have just enough fear of Hell to keep us from rejecting Christianity altogether. And so we enter into a strange state of heathen religiosity, a blissful utopia in which we can take part in immorality one moment and then turn around and say innocently to the concerned Christian friend or family member, "why, whatever do you mean?? Me and God are great, we're 10+!" Little does the protesting scumbag know that he/she is standing at the very mouth of Hell, though to them it looks more like a tropical resort. Quoting scripture to such an individual is largely worthless, for they have convinced themselves that scripture has little relevance, and that they posses a special, personal link with God. It is lost on them that if the Bible is not the inspired word of God then it is quite pointless to keep calling oneself a Christian, as Christianity hinges upon the Bible's infallibility. It is truly a dangerous spot to be in and I have lingered in such a wasteland many a time, including, most ironically, while attending a conservative Christian private college. Nowhere is the plague of the 'God and I are cool' delusion more prevalent than among young people. Full of energy and ready to conquer the world, a young college student is apt to try anything and everything. Add to that a perilous system of theology that deems a sin-plagued Christian as acceptable before God and you have one genuinely 'sanctified' infidel on your hands. We young people fool around with booze, smokes, and romantic entanglements, living carelessly and often shrugging at the lamentable outcomes that usually result. With today's 'it's all cool' attitude, a young supposed 'Christian' can find themselves partaking in the grossest of sins, completely unaware that their conscious has been "seared with a hot iron," as the Apostle Paul says. Such claim they have 'never been closer to God,' when the sad fact of the matter is they are so far away from him they cannot even begin to hear his quiet pleading voice. The roar of their own pride and sinful desires have so overcome their minds they cannot properly discern anything spiritual at all, for there is nothing within them that is spiritual, they are carnal, sold in sin, and Christ has departed from them. Read these sobering words from the book of Hebrews:

For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries. He that despised Moses' law died without mercy under two or three witnesses: Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace? For we know him that hath said, Vengeance [belongeth] unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. --Hebrews 10: 26-31

That this passage applies to Christian believers who have turned from the righteous path to the carnal is obvious. I think over my time at college--of the filthy mouth I developed just by virtue of 'letting it slide'. Words I never dreamt I would say prior to arriving at such a prestigious 'bastion' of Christian morality, came flooding out of my mouth at all times (odd how when that happens you stop praying, sometimes altogether). It was only when nearing the end of my most recent stint there that I realized what had happened. My sister's passing had awoken a new awareness in me concerning my actions and words, and I began to realize just how far down the slope I had slipped. I was reminded of an earlier time two years ago when I'd made similar mistakes, when 'innocent' compromise after compromise eventually led to my being nearly swallowed in a mire of carnality. I could not discern sin in my own life then, and what's more I could not discern it in the lives of young people I should have been watching out for. My lack of awareness not only damaged my life but another's as well, a life I should have been protecting and being a voice of warning within. And guess what? At the time I said, "I've never felt closer to God." What a sad joke. So full of pride that you interpret your own good feelings about yourself to be God's winking approval. If that is not Satanic and vomited from the bowels of Hell, I don't know what is. Christians are not carnal, Christians are not sinful, and how do we know if an individual is genuinely close to God? Here is what Jesus had to say:

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye [are] the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast [them] into the fire, and they are burned. If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples. As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. --John 15:4-10

If we are of Christ, we act like Jesus...Period.

The Peace of God

2011-06-28T13:19:00.036-05:00

And the peace of God, which PASSETH ALL UNDERSTANDING, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. --Philippians 4:7

It does not get any easier, that's for sure. Losing an immediate family member is like losing an arm, it can never be replaced, and one lives daily with the effects of the loss. The memory of my sister's passing is quickly fading for acquaintances and friends, lost in the comings and goings of daily routines. I do not begrudge them that fact, I've accepted it as a given, but they cannot expect me to feel the same way. Day to day, memories and images of my sister flash across my mind, and at night she is in my dreams. I dreamt the other day that she was with me at her house, helping me pack up her things. She was moving on to someplace, though in the dream I didn't know where. It was like old times, she was her usual self and we talked as always, we even replaced a light bulb that suddenly exploded. In a way, I guess she is still very much around, yet not really. It is so strange, thinking you hear someone's voice or expecting them to walk into a room, only to then remember that they are gone forever. You're never sure when the grief will hit you hard, you might be in your bed or walking through Walmart, but when it arrives it feels like a hammer blow to the heart, and you can't hold back the tears even if you wanted to. In the past, I would often ponder how losing someone close might effect my faith, and I'd usually conclude in the negative. Even up until shortly before my sister passed away, I was certain that her death would be the 'last straw' in my struggle for faith. But what actually happened was quite different. I've never been able to stomach it when people speak of a loss or tragedy as having 'taught them a lesson' or was 'designed' to strengthen their faith. Such statements have always struck me as remarkably self-centered and egotistical, seemingly based on the assumption that the planets orbit around the individual concerned. While I acknowledge that tragedy instructs, I do not believe it is specifically ordained of God to do so, rather God uses it to work his will, though he might have employed any number of occurrences both good or ill to bring about the same result. All that to say, the passing of my sister has actually aided my faith instead of damaged it. The moment after she left I felt an incredible peace, I stood looking out my bedroom window, watching the birds play in the soft sunlight. For the first time in a long time, I tangibly felt the presence of God, like it was a blanket that had descended over the entire house. Here I had been trying to find God in the obvious, basically attempting to force a display of his existence out of him, a 'writing on the wall' type of performance so to speak. But I have learned that God whispers, and it is impossible to hear him amidst the clanging cacophony of our own thoughts and self-concerns. And in that moment, after my sister had gone and all was still, I heard him and felt him. The lesson has not been easily learned, and as I said in a recent post, the past few months have been mental chaos. But I believe my paranoia concerning possible future tragedy to be founded less in reality and more in a superstitious view of God held over from the past. The idea that God is the author of tragedy is difficult to shed, so ingrained is it within the modern Christian's conscious. I believe the concept to be false, and wish that Christians could rid themselves of it once and for all (along with the absurd, commonly held belief that God brings judgement in the form of natural disasters). But still, in the back of my mind there is the nagging notion that God will punish me with tragedy because of my sin, though there is nothing in the New Testament to warrant such a fear. The destructive nature of the belief is all too clear, and its prevalence among Christians is obvious. During Layla's illness, an acquaintance of our family claimed 'God told her' that my sister was sick because she had not repented, and would be healed if she confessed to God. Such an outlandish claim flew in the face of who I knew Layla to be and of where she stood with God, but even so, the damage was done. The acquaintance' words served to awaken within me a rotten seed that has taken awhile to suffocate. I do not hold any ill will towards her, but am again reminded of how easily Christians are deceived, and how often we take our own emotions to be the words and instructions of God. Odd how in reality we seldom recognize the true voice of the Lord, so foreign and removed it is from the realm of the Carnal. But when tragedy strikes us, the concerns of the world and of ourselves tend to vanish, to fade away like the vapors they are, and we are left in the stillness, empty and waiting. Into the void steps the spirit of God, striving to show us that his strength is made perfect in our weakness. My sister passed from this world because she was sick, and had never really been completely healthy. What exact natural factors combined to give her the sickness she had I may never know. But I know one thing--God did not author it, no more than he authors murder, kidnapping or rape. We humans are subject to the consequences of our own actions and to the influence of evil spiritual entities, but it is clear to me that God is always there in the wings...waiting to fill the void.

The Fall of Hitchens

2011-06-27T17:55:00.022-05:00

NO...This is not going to be some gloating statement expressing smug amusement over the fact that Christopher Hitchens, renowned public speaker and ardent atheist, is dying of throat cancer. That some Christians are apparently doing that very thing is, to me, a disgusting testament to the true nature of their hearts, which are as far from the heart of Jesus as can be. I also thought the recent article in WORLD magazine, which holds a high profile in conservative Christian circles, on Hitchens was equally insulting. The author implied, with the usual Reformed superiority, that the "hounds of heaven" are after ole Hitch. No lady. He has cancer because he smoked and drank heavily all his adult life, even sipping his beloved Johnny Walker as he debated straight-backed theologians, his smooth Oxford tones cutting them to bits with a wit sharp enough to slice steel. Hitchens, though having now lost his voice, remains stoically dedicated to his philosophy of life. He says, with a characteristic little smirk, that if he converts to Christianity on his death bed it will be the result of a lost mind, not divine grace. To say that I admire the man would be absolutely accurate. He, ironically enough, actually helped me through a recent dark night of the soul, and here I am...not an atheist. I was remarking to my Dad the other night how Hitchens sort of reminds me of the Apostle Paul. It is in his manner I think, his dogged certainty and inexhaustible spirit. Hitch, like Paul, runs his own race regardless of who it offends or who he mows down. I cannot help but imagine that if Christopher Hitchens found the Lord he would be a terror indeed, all Hell just might retreat before such clarity of thinking and caustic wit. But the will of Hitchens is strong, and it may prove strong enough to resist the still, small voice of God. For me, such an outcome would be a great shame. If I could I would apologize to him concerning the way Christ has been represented in the modern world. The Christianity that atheists like Hitchens and Dawkins fight against does not represent the true body of Christ--they are looking in the wrong places for that. Jesus is not in the mainstream--not in the egotistical ravings of Televangelists, not in the PC crowd of Saddleback Church, nor in the false doctrines of men and devils. Rather Christ is, as he has always been, working behind the scenes, out in the streets, up in the hills -- God that made the world and all things therein, seeing that he is Lord of heaven and earth, dwelleth not in temples made with hands" (Acts 17:24). -- Christopher Hitchens has virtually made a career out of tearing down a God who bears little resemblance to the one who nailed himself to a tree for humanity's benefit, and THAT is the reason it burns me up each time I see some self-satisfied, self-proclaimed theologian pronounce judgement on Hitchens, or attribute his illness to that same puppeteer false god. It would seem that I have more in common with atheist philosophers than with the folks of modern Christendom...and thus must it be.

Best of luck to you Christopher Hitchens.

Ramblings from a Heretic

2011-06-27T12:39:00.008-05:00

So far I've used this blog to stoutly proclaim my own views (what's a blog for after all?), but I realize the dangerous nature of these views each time I take a gander at what the church at large believes and proclaims as truth. By 'church' I am usually referring to mainline Protestant denominations, though the good old fellows in Rome are certainly not exempt either. Anyway, I have it on good authority (at least in the accuser's own mind) that I am indeed a 'Semipelagian,' endorsing the views of a group of radicals who were apparently condemned by the early church. If by 'early church' this bright lad means the Councils of Orange in 529 then I think he needs further instruction on what the 'early church' was. I see the early church as that which is portrayed in the book of Acts and in the subsequent letters of the apostles. Therein are the doctrines I believe in and espouse: namely that man is born separated from God, thus unequivocally falling into sin, which necessitates a need for redemption. Such regeneration is obtained through the calling of God in an individual's life and following that the surrendering of that life to Christ (or surrendering of the human will). Personally, I could care less what this young student of Reformed Protestant dogma thinks of me, or what labels he would seek to apply. The scriptures, taken as a whole and not piecemeal, clearly teach what I have laid out above. The scriptures I say, not Saint Augustine, not John Calvin, and not John Piper, but the very Word of God. I don't need to read a book by John Stott to come to an understanding of my sin and Christ's role as savior and grace-giver. I do not need some theology professor (the equivalent of the medieval Catholic priest) to define what 'predestination' means for me. The misguided young man who sought to label me is locked into a system that will only ever suffocate his Christian life, and I am sorry for that. I seek to follow Jesus and the apostles' teachings, not deluded sinners--men who were murderers and drunkards, fellows who formed their own personal theologies to excuse their failings, "sinning so that grace may abound" (Romans 6). That such men, the so called 'fathers and founders' of the Reformation are virtually worshiped by modern Protestant churches is very telling and somewhat alarming. Will the real heretics please stand up? Now, I'm not a 'camp' person, and though I think Calvin was a delusional megalomaniac (read the man's own letters!), I do not condemn his modern admirers (an impossibility even if I wanted to, as I would have to call 90% of American Christians 'heretics'). I certainly believe them to be misguided though, and I sincerely wish they could go to the scriptures without those blurry Protestant bi-focals! The Word of God is so much more radical than any human man's theology or doctrine. After all, it does claim that the spirit of God himself can come down and dwell in human beings, freeing us from the bondage of sin. That is a pretty outlandish concept, and one believed in theory rather than in practice these days. Truly, I just do not have time to worry about the P's and Q's of complicated and convoluted theologies. Sorry Calvinites, you might call me a heretic and label me a 'semi-whatever', but I'll just have to go about my business thank you very much, looking to Christ, the author and finisher of my faith.

Of Deception and Incense

2011-05-22T23:17:00.045-05:00

The more I live the more I realize that life as we perceive it to be is an illusion. The American culture of independence is a sham. Looking around to observe us, I do not see free-thinkers, I see drones, chained to a system we can neither see outside of or comprehend. It has been several years since I first discovered that the true masters of this world work behind the scenes. These cream of the elite brag in their own writings how they have systematically enslaved the mind and heart of the western common man, imprisoning him in a gold-gilded cage with a lure of colorful illusions and hidden lies. The world is much smaller than it used to be, and the Mammon gods acknowledge no national boundary. In order for the machine to keep running and advance, the people who oil the gears must keep the masses distracted and occupied. For those in charge, such is but a stop-gap measure until they can implement their true designs for the world and mankind. I will not get into in detail, but those involve vast population reduction and open global governance. The biggest deception believed by Americans in particular is that their country is still a sovereign nation, when in fact our 'government' is but a pony show, answering to a private bank and the men who run it, individuals who care nothing for the concept of personal freedoms or human rights. But our corporate-owned media trots out tailored illusion, designed to limit the worldview of Americans, keeping them entrapped in a false political Left/Right paradigm. We are led to believe that our votes actually mean something, when in harsh reality all Presidential candidates are identical, serving the same interests and working toward the same goals. Men who tear each other apart on national television toast their rival's good health when the lights go down. When you begin to dig into the lives of the prestigious few who virtually dictate world events, you will eventually bump into a common thread. You will discover that these men and women are linked in their dedication to the occult. Nothing is more shocking than discovering that world leaders meet every year in a redwood grove out in California to party and perform mock-human sacrifices in front of a giant stone owl. Admittedly, it sounds like something out of a tabloid, but when you have photographic evidence and the admissions of people like president Richard Nixon, you realize that it is all too real.

A Biblical Perspective

For Christians, it should be no surprise that world leaders are engaged in occult activities. I'm reminded of the temptation of Christ when he is brought to a high mountain by Satan and shown the kingdoms of the world:

And the devil said unto him, All this power will I give thee, and the glory of them: for that is delivered unto me; and to whomsoever I will I give it. If thou therefore wilt worship me, all shall be thine. Luke 4:6-7

There you have it, and Jesus does not dispute it. Satan rules over the kingdoms of the world, a position he has held from the beginning of time until now. Some Christians might take issue with the concept, harming as it does their idea of God's sovereignty. But the scriptures are clear, and the wickedness of the world around us attests to the truth. Still, in our so called 'modern age' people are reluctant to believe that our suave, suit-clad leaders are into dark rituals straight out of ancient Babylon. But was it King Solomon who said "there is nothing new underneath the sun"? How true. Beneath the civilized exterior and technological savvy men are the same as they've always been. As I pointed out, the same ruler has held the kingdoms of this earth in his grasp for all of human history. His tactics may change, but his base nature remains unchanged and unchangeable. Ironically, it is the Christians who protest this reality most strongly, though their very belief rests upon the idea that there is a great spiritual battle taking place between the forces of light and darkness. But in a day when the sacrifice of Jesus Christ has been reduced to a 'Get Out of Hell Free' card, the ignorance of the modern Christian is not surprising. The Biblical concept of the Christian believer living as a wary watchman has been virtually lost. But the schemes of Satan have never stalled, and the world is marching steadily onward towards the one world kingdom he desires for himself. The ultimate victory will be God's, and at the end of this world he will assert his rulership over all, but it is up to the Church to watch for and hasten his coming:

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9

God tolerates the prince of this world for one reason only: so that his Church might bring as many to salvation as possible. Obviously, the days are waxing old and the world is growing in depravity. The grandest and richest kingdoms of the ancients cannot compare with the one world government we see approaching. Its advent will no doubt mark the beginning of the end of days. But God is at work in the minds of men, moving within the parameters of free-will. He has no blueprint, and that is the beauty and agony of the slow unfolding of his kingdom. He does not conquer with might and force, employing a stepford Church to do his bidding. No, he waits and works patiently within us, like yeast through dough, sinking into our minds and hearts. But God understands only too well the nature of deception. Warnings concerning false teachers and doctrines abound in the New Testament, and remain curiously ignored by many churchgoing folks.

For there are certain men CREPT IN unawares, who were before of old ordained to this condemnation, ungodly men, turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God, and our Lord Jesus Christ. Jude 1:4

Notice the word 'unawares' in there? Yeah. The tendency to turn the 'grace of our God into lasciviousness' is so rampant in today's Church I wonder if we have been completely blinded all together. Irresponsible man-made theologies transform the grace God saved us with into some kind of magic wand that winks at post-salvation sins and essentially proclaims "aw, well shucks, it's a real shame you did that, but you know, God is gracious, so keep on and do better next time'. Funny how that 'next time' manages to always turn into a repeat of the last time. The endless 'sin and repent' cycle is an invention of man and is found nowhere in scripture. The bible teaches total freedom from sin, a new birth and new life (let's get over our problem with that and accept it already!). But in a Church that remains steeped in sin, how are Christians to discern deception? Spiritual awareness is now gauged according to how often a person raises their hands in church and by how loudly they pray. Few are wary, few are watchful. Deceivers continue to infiltrate and subtly destroy our churches, just as world leaders secretly act to bring the entire world under the open control of Satan. Those who profess Christ must wake up and smell the beguiling incense: we have an enemy. And yes, he just might be a Republican who wears an Armani suit.

Nothing

2011-05-11T11:22:00.027-05:00

There are many things a year can teach you. It is surprising how quickly life can break you down and humble you, taking assumptions and securities and shattering them before your eyes. I often look back over my life and am stunned by my behaviors, my arrogance and selfish greed. I am always amazed when I realize just how much time I spend dwelling on myself, absorbed in the secret world of my own head. Fantasies and dreams parade before my inner eye so vividly, clouding reality with fiction. Well, like I said, a year can change you, and though I still gaily leap through the world of ME like some carefree hippie, I have had what they call a 'reality check'.

My sister Layla would have been 29 this July. Odd, it seems like just yesterday when us kids were all out in the yard playing together. We used to gather the leaves in the Fall and have picnics. We put on plays too, though only one or two made it before the eyes of Mom and Dad. Just the other week I sat alone in a movie theater, recalling how we kids would always go see films together. I could almost see her sitting next to me, turning to tell me some joke or hilarious observation about our fellow theater occupants. Funny how I thought it would last forever, all of it. But in reality the days were racing by, ever falling away, marching coldly onward to reach their end on that still day in February when absolute reality shattered my gilded illusions. The days since then have had no coherency and little peace. In a way life has become about when the next bad thing is going to happen. I manage to project an air of normalcy most times, and often I can forget for awhile. But that ache is always there, a quietly bleeding wound somewhere deep inside my chest. I can but laugh sadly at how simple I used to think life was, how cut and dried, how absolute certain things were. But of all things, I never thought my family could be taken from me. Such a thought existed only in the darkest of possibilities, a thing that could never happen to me...because we were different. I viewed us more as observers of the world than complete participants in it, like critics evaluating the show before them. But somehow the movie became reality, reaching out of the screen to pluck one of us away. We used to joke about death, especially her. Even after the unreal diagnosis she would occasionally make a joke about dying. But in glimpses I could see, we all could, that she wasn't ready... We kids always talked about visiting Europe together, it was our dream, something we were certain we'd all do some day. We all used to speak of how we'd been born into the wrong century. Truly she was a lady in every sense of word, made for better times and a better place. My regrets are many, and they are with me everyday. I make myself sick when I think of the time I wasted, all the countless hours spent on myself and my realms of mental fantasy. But I am no hero in this piece, I cannot erase the fact that my sister is gone forever, taken while so young, and there is nothing to be done. The only role I managed to play was one of near silence and absence, a regret I will carry to my grave. Even during her last six months I was still taking the time for granted, still immersed in my own inner concerns and musings. I had the nerve to act as if nothing were amiss, isolated as I was in the idealistic setting of a private school 500 hundred miles away from the medication and cancer clinics. And now I can but walk through her empty house and wonder where the dreams went.

I woke up too late.

Jesus

2010-07-28T01:45:00.001-05:00

Inherent Evil and Romans 7

2010-07-24T11:16:00.016-05:00

Here's a little monologue I wrote concerning Romans chapters 6, 7, and 8

Most Christians use the latter half of Romans chapter 7 to justify their sin habits and moral failures. The oft quoted verse of the ‘weary sinful Christian’ who just can’t seem to beat down his ‘old man’ is 7:15, “For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that I do.” The verse prior sums up the mindset of most believers, “For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.” Despite their salvation, a large majority of Christians view this as the position of the believer in relation to sin. This concept follows after a belief in the inherent evil of man and the assumption that he has what is called a ‘sin nature’. That this idea is found nowhere in the scriptures seems to be lost on most--particularly in the case of the ‘biblically trained'. The supposed ‘inherent evil’ of man is a doctrine founded by 1rst century Gnostic sects. Later picked up by Saint Augustine, it eventually gained wide prominence through the writings of John Calvin. Today, 90% of the church holds to this tradition--the belief in a 'sinful nature' for man. The words ‘sinful nature’ never actually appear in the King James Bible (they do in the NIV, but as an incorrect translation of the Greek word ‘sarx’, which simply means, very literally, 'flesh'). The scriptures do not teach that there is some diabolical character within the biological makeup of man, a corruption in the body that renders him a default sinner and worthy of hell. What the bible truly teaches is that we are all born separated from God’s spirit, and so therefore will all eventually fall into sin. But there is nothing about our flesh that is inherently depraved. Flesh is just flesh in the beginning, neither good or evil, though every man will unequivocally corrupt his way. But if flesh is, as most hold, horribly corrupted from the get-go, then I would venture to ask this question: “If flesh is inherently wicked, then what ‘flesh’ did Jesus have?” If the answer is, “well, Jesus was God,” then that undermines the whole point and validity of his existence on earth. What made him a worthy sacrifice for man’s sin in God‘s eyes was his blameless humanity! But that truth is impossible to acknowledge when one holds to a belief that ‘flesh’ is evil from day one. I’ve heard it said that Jesus had a “special flesh,” which again negates his qualification to be a sacrifice for the sins of man. People truly do squirm when you confront them with this ‘Jesus flesh' question, but often a conversation involving what the bible truly teaches about man’s nature seldom gets that far. Folks get awfully rabid when defending their cherished assumptions, they will fight to the death for them. It is seldom about biblical evidence, common sense, etc. The only thing most people grasp is that their assumptions, their beliefs, are being attacked. Challenging the common interpretation of Romans 7 is particularly dangerous water. Most Christians use chapter 7 to argue for sinful nature, ripping it out of its context for their own purposes. It is odd though that their whole argument is completely undermined by chapters 6 and 8! To find the true meaning of 7, one should read the entire book of Romans preferably, but just chapters 6 and 8 will do for now. Paul begins in chapter 6 by explaining the position of the Christian in relation to sin. We have been crucified, buried, and raised with Christ he tells us. In 6:6 he explains, “Knowing this, that our old man was crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.” And then in verse 7, “For he that is dead is free from sin.” Now, this is the exact opposite from what is commonly taught in church. We are led to believe that the ‘old man’ is still alive and well and in constant conflict with the ‘new man’--our 'sinful natures' and the spirit of Christ contending for dominance. Given our inherent depravity, it is believed that we can never obtain a fully Christ-like state. But the New Testament actually tells a radically different story! The 'old man' is not some biological sinful strain, but our corrupted flesh, diseased by our own willful sins. As we see in Romans 6, the Christian is completely freed from sin upon being born again, his ‘old man’ having been crucified with Christ. That this glorious truth, that this full gospel is being overlooked by the modern church is nothing less than tragic. We Christians (so called) continue on in cycles of sin, excusing it all the while with false doctrines concerning sinful natures and total depravity. We ignore the complete message of the gospel! The focal point is not that Jesus died, it is that he rose! It is that he set the captives free from sin and death, not figuratively, but literally! Christians ought to spend less time excusing their sins and more in claiming this beautiful truth! We don’t need psychologists, self-help books, or 50-year sanctification plans, all we need is to acknowledge where we stand before God and live it! It is that simple, and therein rests the problem. It is too simple for most of us. We humans must have things complicated and 'intellectual'! And so Christians whine and sniffle, “that which I hate, I do!” It is pathetic. Paul clearly proclaims the position of the believer in Romans chapter 6, going on into chapter 7 to explain that it was impossible for man to obtain righteousness under the law. He uses his past self, as well as a hypothetical present self, to make the point, showing how despite his best efforts the law still condemns him and he remains in bondage to sin, doing what he hates (v15) despite his good intentions. He ends by saying that with his mind he serves the law but that his flesh serves sin. Nowhere in chapter 7 is the Holy Spirit mentioned, a detail often overlooked by those who hold the passage to be an expose' on the apostle Paul's true present self. Though Paul mentions Jesus Christ as his Lord in the context of his body serving sin (v25), it is clear to me that he is thanking Christ in the present for his natural ability to delight in the law of God (see Romans 1:19-20), an innate instinct that we truly should be thankful for! (I hear the Calvinites coming with their pitchforks to lead me off to the stake, hehe!) However, Paul understands the natural man to be ultimately incapable of keeping the law because of his corrupted flesh and therefore unable to "please God" (8:8). But Chapter 8 witnesses the slam bang arrival of the Holy Spirit and the freedom from sin that it brings: “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit.” Verse 2 is Paul’s glorious testimony, “For the law of the Spirit of life in Jesus Christ hath made me free from the law of sin and death.” And then 8:3-4 is an answer to the sin-problem revealed in chapter 7, “For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”

Amen!

Make My Life

2010-07-22T22:49:00.005-05:00

Make my life a prayer to you
I want to do what you want me to
No empty words and no white lies
No token prayers no compromise

I want to shine the light you gave
Through your son you sent to save us
From ourselves and our despair
It comforts me to know you're really there

Well I want to thank you
For being patient with me
Oh it's so hard to see
When my eyes are on me
I guess I'll have to trust
And just believe what you say
Oh you're coming again
Coming to take me away

I want to die and let you give
Your life to me so I might live
And share the hope you gave to me
The love that set me free

I want to tell the world out there
You're not some fable or fairy tale
That I've made up inside my head
You're God the Son and you've risen from the dead

I want to die and let you give
Your life to me so I might live
And share the hope you gave me
The love that set me free

Well I want to thank you
For being patient with me
Oh it's so hard to see
When my eyes are on me
I guess I'll have to trust
And just believe what you say
Oh you're coming again
Coming to take me away

--Keith Green

Pie-Crust Thin

2010-06-23T19:58:00.007-05:00

Well...I suppose it is time to blog again...I should be ashamed of myself I guess. Fact is, I've started about four updates since my last post, and all of them currently remain unfinished in my Drafts Box. I must have chosen not to finish them because I realized while writing that I was not being fully honest. Oh, the opinions were mine for sure, but I was not writing from the heart...

Anyway, that aside, I'm ready to be honest...mostly.

The past couple months have not been easy for me spiritually. To be truthful, I've been adrift on a metaphorical sea of spiritual confusion, abounding in waves of countless doctrines and beasts of hypocrisy. My constant criticism of modern Christianity backfired in that I seemed unable to find a redeeming alternative. I felt cut loose from all Christendom, and the presence of a God to pull me back to shore was nowhere to be seen. What if there was no alternative? What if the apparent failure of Christianity simply meant that the whole thing was born of man? Perhaps there was no God above it all, no resting place of true righteousness and love. In the back of my head, I figured this period was just a stage, but what a difficult one it has been! A shaken faith makes one sit up and take notice of just how evil the world is, a world that is supposedly ruled by a loving creator. Being around Christians made me sick. I would hear stories about how God, "helped me find the right pair of shoes," and "led me to my lost contact lenses!" During such instances I wanted to scream, "Are you saying that the same God who allows an 8 year-old to be kidnapped, raped, and murdered, gives two cents about your stupid footwear!?!" Such blind religious naivete was enraging, to say the least, and left me with a sour taste in my mouth. I was facing the questions that every Christian has, but few dare to meet head-on. But I was doing so not because of any innate courage, but because I had been driven to that point. I had pursued the hound to the cliff edge, and followed it unwittingly into the abyss...couldn't help it, I had too much momentum behind me. And so here I have been and still am to a certain degree. What has changed? I am not sure. That is the way God works most of the time. I spent so much time raging, demanding answers of God (or else!), but now a strange calm has settled over me. I keep thinking of God's spirit hovering over the waters in Genesis. It seems as if he hovers over me now, poised for something, and I have no idea what. I hope he doesn't kill me or anything...heh...

Well, that is enough for the moment...

-John

Radical God

2010-03-23T17:21:00.032-05:00

I don't think anyone knows God, least of all myself. If you look around at Christians you see people of all shapes and backgrounds, many of them claiming to speak for God. How many times have I heard these words: "I have a word from the Lord," or "God told me to tell you?" Yeah, I hear those lines all the time. People claim that God speaks to them, yet when I look at the hypocrisy in their lives I find that claim to be decidedly dubious. All this to say that I personally have never heard from God. When I pray I might as well be praying to the ceiling. I imagine that, deep down, it is the same for everyone else. Certainly, we can all conjure up 'answers', a 'God Voice' so to speak. I can manipulate my mental faculties into feeling that there is 'divine consciousness' on the other end of the prayer line. I find it quite amusing, the many ways in which man deceives himself. This pertains to all areas of life, but particularly where God is concerned. I find that what so many people call 'God' is nothing more than a projection of their own mental biases. We each have fashioned our own God, one that shares our personal theological views and feelings about the world. Some may claim that they are 'following the Word' but, incriminating enough, they seem to emphasize passages that pander to their own likes and dislikes. Even our supposed 'cross-bearing' and 'painful obedience' is less about loving God than it is about control and feeling superior to others. I find this state of affairs to be thoroughly depressing. The Gospel is about regeneration, about radical transformation. Yet I look at my own life and see confusion and pain. I am a dead man walking. And it's the same for Christians I've met. Their problems are not healed, their spirits have not been cleansed-they've been covered over with religion, empty rituals and vain tearful words to their bedroom ceilings. That we've all accepted this as somehow 'normal' and the best that God can offer is quite saddening. Have I forgotten the Mystery of God-Christ in me (Colossians 2)? Does no one understand how radical that is? To actually have the Spirit of God living in us!? To have the Creator of the Universe daily pouring his light into our veins?! Such a thing would so utterly destroy what a man was that his new self would be completely unrelated to the old. Funny how I don't see a whole lot of such 'Spirit Men' around. Maybe the world actually ended in A.D 90 and we are currently in Hell. Hmmm...It's a puzzling quandary. Maybe we're just blind, heirs to generations of complacency. And perhaps God is beyond it all, beyond the labels we paste on him, above the words and actions we attribute to him. Perhaps we have grieved the Holy Spirit so throughly that we no longer see its glory in men's lives. We are stuck with a counterfeit, and a shoddy one it is. I imagine that God is reaching toward us all, attempting to reach through the fog of our closed hearts and minds, longing to remind us of the Gospel, the Mystery of Christ in You. Between him and us there stands hordes of demons, summoned by our very own wills. Perhaps a worldwide revival would get us back to Pentecost, but I cannot say for sure. But I know that God will not permit this present world to last forever, the wickedness of man is far too great. We cannot expect to continue grieving his Holy Spirit without consequence. God's justice must be satisfied at some point, and I believe that point to not be very far off. And I look at myself and cringe. If Christ is to be my savior, then I must have the whole deal. I cannot settle into this complacent mess that currently is the Church. I will bow to no denomination, and I refuse to create my own. I want what the Apostle Paul had, a life turned upside down and possessed by the Holy Spirit. Damascus Road experiences may be few and far between these days, but I want one nonetheless. If I cannot have that, then I am a helpless wretched man, adrift in a cruel universe, subject to the whims of fate. I will not heed those who claim Christ's blood, yet remain horribly blackened by the disease of their sin. Their medications will not be purchased by me-the pills of religion that merely cloak sickness. So in the meantime I am quite frozen. The Holy Spirit may be so universally grieved that I cannot personally bring him into my own life. As I said, maybe the fire of true revival is the only thing that will save us from ourselves and our imaginary 'Gods'. But that would mean that I have to wait on everyone else to admit the 'lie' and move forward. And the pride of man is great. Destruction of religious security often sends its victims into the arms of Atheism instead of to the bosom of Jesus Christ. True revival is so gut-wrenchingly hard that we fall victim to despair. How many lonely prayers will it take? How many screamed rages at the sky? I cannot say, I do not know. But shall I collapse beneath the waves, giving in to complacency and apathy? Heaven knows that is easy to do when a person is fed up with the stupid charade around him. It is a difficult place to be at. Society is not prepared for people who refuse to lie to themselves. We currently dwell in a system constructed and sustained by lies. The forces of culture and religion tear and rend us, helpless deluded saps that we are, stagnating our existence and perpetuating brokenness. If an individual is unfortunate enough to get outside the box and look in on the carnival, there are several reactions: run away screaming with flailing arms, run away screaming to God [the hardest one, because immediate comfort is not assured], or run away screaming to removed aloof cynicism. Which will he choose? I myself hesitate near the box lid, somewhat in a state of panic. The self-delusion which has sustained my little world is crumbling away, and so I must eventually bear up and choose my path. I know that out there somewhere in the raging void is a God who died for me and my fellow men. And man's alienation from him is no more God's fault than a parent's whose child flips him the bird and flies the nest at 17. God is not to be blamed for our stupid games and manipulations. He is where he always has been, stretching out both hands to a wandering people, hoping his love will pierce the scales that blind our eyes. To make us new is his wish and desire, but our barriers remain solidly in place. God will not move them for us, and perhaps he cannot, lest our wills allow him to. Such is the freedom he gave us out of his own sovereignty. The greatest expression of power is to give it up for someone else, to place its reigns in the hands of those you love. But I am afraid we have left the tortured God nailed to his tree, refusing to take up his gift and use it to cleanse this world. The ball was at our feet, but now it is somewhere over in the weeds we have sown about us. I search for it... I pray to find it one day.

Reckless Raging Fury

2010-01-21T21:58:00.013-06:00

Sorry...but I am going to quote Rich Mullins again...

There's a wideness in God's mercy
I cannot find in my own
And He keeps his fire burning
To melt this heart of stone
Keeps me aching with a yearning
Keeps me glad to have been caught
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God

-From the song "The Love of God" by Rich Mullins

Rich Mullins was a radical. He was not afraid to call the love of God what it is; reckless and raging, a fury that knows no boundaries and follows no laws. It is a love so pure and righteous that if we, in human flesh, were fully exposed to it, we would be utterly destroyed. The pure light of it would disintegrate every cell. We tend to couch God's love in terms that we understand. Sometimes we view it as fickle, like our own love. We imagine (perhaps not admittedly) that God gets tired of us every now and then. Perhaps we then fall into the trap of thinking that we have to woo him back to us with disciplined piety. Modern 'progressives' would equate God's love with their idea of 'tolerance'. In every case, we homo-sapiens attempt to define God's love as our love...whatever that may be. It most undoubtedly includes the absence of judgement and anger, and most certainly rage and recklessness. Such things, we perceive, have no place in 'real love'. But God's love is not our love, and THAT is the great slap in the face. His love is a perfect love, free from human bias and 'wisdom', falsely so called. Many Christians isolate themselves from it, to their great lukewarmness. How can I make such a statement? Well, it seems to me that the world would be a whole lot different if Christians really understood God's love. And I am not saying that I do, it is quite the mystery. But I sense the great ocean that so many are simply afraid to leap into, the ocean of God's love. The New Testament repeatedly speaks of this love living through Christians. This is a love that loves enemies and neighbors, holds no record of wrongs, does not repay evil for evil, and burns brightly no matter the circumstances. We don't see much of that in the church today. Maybe because we christians do not understand God's love...or maybe because we do, and only too well. Perhaps we sense that his love would destroy us if we allowed it to, perhaps we know that it would completely reform us. When we look at people like Rich Mullins, Keith Green, or Brennan Manning, or Francis Chan, our earthly eyes see brokenness, they see humility and a complete unattachment to the things of this world. And deep down we probably realize that the love of God did it to them. We admire them, but we don't want to be like them... Let's be honest... We don't want to be like Jesus. Why? Because the love of God is not our love. It is a reckless raging fury, beyond our comprehension. It is a violent and unstoppable force that undoes men, transforms their black hearts, and leaves them broken and homeless. It is far too radical for most of us. I've tasted some, and frankly, I am scared to death of it. I am frightened of falling in and losing myself. But I fear that the ocean will find me somehow, because my soul thirsts. I am tired of man's love. Perhaps, quite morbidly, I want to be destroyed. Running head-first into a tornado is not considered wise, and maybe that's why so many don't accept God's love for what it is. The rushing whirlwind will do far too much damage to their delicate carnal constitutions. But God so deeply desires to destroy them, so that they in turn may destroy the world.

Joy and sorrow are this ocean
And in their every ebb and flow
Now the Lord a door has opened
That all hell could never close
Here I'm tested and made worthy
Tossed about but lifted up
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God

Suggested reading

'Rich Mullins, An Arrow Pointing to Heaven' by James Smith

'The Ragamuffin Gospel' by Brennan Manning

'Crazy Love' by Francis Chan

The Letters of John

1 Corinthians 13

Stranger in the Manger

2009-12-16T10:46:00.031-06:00

Do you notice him back there? He stands in the corner, shrouded in darkness, leering down at the Christ child. He is not ignorant of the Prophecy, given long ago at the dawn of the world. But he does not understand it all. His mind is filled with hatred and loathing. If it had been within his power, had he not been restrained, he would certainly have killed the child. Unable to accomplish that, all he could do now was stand back and watch, in the corner, in the shadows. And within his black heart he cursed the Light of the World.

No, I am not speaking of a malignant shepherd. I am speaking of Satan, the Prince of this World, the Father of Lies. At this time of year, one is almost constantly assaulted by cute little manger scenes depicting Christ's birth. They appear as cards, images, and as wooden models to set on our coffee tables. As varied as the mediums in which they appear are, these scenes all share a certain commonality, a cliched predictability. There is sweet Mary and baby Jesus, usually blond and blue eyed. There stands noble Joseph, the Wise Men, and the humble shepherds. Surrounding them are the peaceful animals, calmly lying down in the nice clean straw of the stable. If the scene appears in picture form, there is commonly a bright (female) angelic host present, hovering above the stable beneath an absurdly large and obnoxious star. Yes, we all know this scene well. It has become just another facet of our Christmas experience, sharing the season with cookies, trees, lights, and presents. Perhaps it is time to rethink the manger scene, to give it the attention it deserves, and most importantly of all, to depict it accurately. I should warn everyone though; If the manger scene is portrayed as it really occurred, in all its rugged and gritty glory, it won't be 'cute'. Good American consumers will not 'Oooo' and 'Ahhh' over it. Most likely they will be offended, put out by the fact that their cheerful holiday spirits are marred by a scene so dark and dirty. Perhaps they would object to the stable being depicted as a cave, or as a crude stone hut. They might scratch their heads over the absence of the Wise Men, or huff over the fact that the shepherds are mostly young girls. Good decent Christians would doubtless scoff at the very masculine, wingless angels perched on the stable roof. Their sense of dignity would be assaulted by the filthy animals, the tangled hair and tear-stained cheeks of Mary, the wailing baby Jesus, and the mounds of dung lying about. However, none of this would hold a candle to the offense taken over the presence of a certain figure. Most honest folks might just forgive all the other travesties. But, "Oh my goodness! How dare you put Satan in the manger scene!". To such I would reply, "But friends, he was there!". The conversation would then go steadily downhill...

But, in all honesty, he really was!

‘And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars: And she being with child cried, travailing in birth, and pained to be delivered.And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads. And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born.’ –Revelation 12:1-4

This passage in Revelation reveals the spiritual side to the birth of Christ. Satan knew that Mary
was about to give birth to the Promised One, though he probably did not grasp the full plan of God's redemption. He was there at the stable, waiting and watching as Mary gave birth. Perhaps he lunged forward to murder the child, but was held back by God's power. Whatever it was he attempted, he failed. Jesus lived. Satan's wrath must have been great, as all he could do was stand back and observe helplessly. The angels praised God in the heavens and the Christ child cried, healthy and alive. Satan would follow him for the next 33 years, no doubt confused, fearful, and enraged. He could not harm Jesus himself, so he tried tempting him away from God's will. We all know that story. And again, Satan failed. He then used Peter and Judas, and he failed. Jesus, through his death, burial, and resurrection defeated his enemy for all time. The Devil has been de-horned and de-clawed. The rest of Revelation 12 lays it out wonderfully. But there is a catch, not involving Satan's defeated status, but our (the Followers of Christ) free-will.

'Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a ROARING lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:' - 1 Peter 5:8

Satan is enraged over his defeat, an anger that he seeks to pour out on the lives of Christians. If a Believer chooses not to walk in faith and after newness of life, he or she is made completely vulnerable to the works of Satan. In the Western Church, we have largely taken to a light view of the devil. We carelessly partake in anything and everything the World offers, failing to use wise discernment. There is a misconception that Satan's power only manifests itself in the outright ugly and malformed. We see him in a monster's face, but not in our favorite movie's 'love' scene.

'And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. Therefore [it is] no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.' - 2 Corinthians 11:14-15

This passage is speaking specifically of false teachers, but the principle of Satan being 'an angel of light' applies to all areas of life. We have an enemy. He is after our souls tenaciously. If we let our guards down, if we lose faith, Satan will attack us, using any and every means he can: sickness, various temptations, nightmares, depression, words. These things are not 'normal' for faithful Christians to experience and be entrapped in. And the very fact that they are perceived that way by the majority of American Christians, is evidence of the Enemy's success in his battle against us. How un-vigilant we have become! We would like to pretend that Satan only occasionally works, perhaps over in Africa or someplace like that. What deception! He is at work in America more than anyplace else. Wake up Church! We are dwelling in Sodom! Look around! We have killed millions of innocent babies, homosexuality is a part of everyday life, pornography is rampant, women (and little 5yr old girls) dress like prostitutes...The list is endless. And what is truly sobering is that these things are present and healthy within the American Church! Oh yes, Satan is at work overtime. His desire is to keep the Western Church just where it is, lukewarm and complacent, blind to the septic tank it is immersed in. He knows that if he can keep us amped up on false spirituality, manipulating our emotions (what we falsely dub 'the Holy Spirit'), that he will gain a great victory. He will drag the American Church to Hell with him. We may think our lives are pretty good, trouble free and grand fun. We flirt with the World and brush off impurity as if it doesn't really matter. And we take the devil out of the manger scene because, well, we just don't want to be confronted with something so...so...blatantly ugly, especially near the sweet baby Jesus and gentle Mary meek and mild. Little do we realize that we are on a perilous, slippery slope, carelessly dancing on a crumbling path. We think that by removing Satan's image we get rid of him. Far from it. In fact, that is exactly what he wants; to be removed from sight and mind, so that he might work all the more, subtly and unrecognized.

So friends, let us put Satan back into the manger scene this Christmas. Because we do have an Enemy, a very cunning and deadly one, who would seek to entrap us and lead us away from the 'hope of the Gospel' (Colossians 1:23). Let us remember to be vigilant and watchful. Satan has been defeated, but we must claim that victory through Faith in the power of God's Son.

Merry Christmas

Strangers and Stars

2009-12-09T13:12:00.008-06:00

'Sometimes I think of Abraham

How one star he saw had been lit for me

He was a stranger in this land

And I am that no less than he'

- From the song 'Sometimes by Step', by Rich Mullins

Am I a 'stranger in this land'? Hmmm... Well, sometimes 'yes' and sometimes 'no'. The Bible is full of wanderers and strangers, people sojourning across the tapestry of this life. Jesus was the prime example:

'And Jesus saith unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.' -Matt. 8:20

Jesus was a homeless man you know. In this culture we tend to look upon the homeless with disdain. The idea of not having a home or cash in the bank seems completely outrageous to us middle-class folk. It is just not respectable. Well, Jesus was a homeless man, and the uncomfortable thing is, he called his followers to be homeless as well. But this Christ homelessness means something more than not owning a physical dwelling in which to lay your head, and it is more than not having a job. It is about being a pilgrim, a sojourner in this present land, like Abraham.

'I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the WORLD, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the WORLD, even as I am not of the WORLD.' -John 17:15-16

In the world but not of the world. Why? Because we have no lasting home here, this life is just a rest stop, a crucial one, but a rest stop nonetheless. The possessions we own here should not alter the state of our homelessness in Christ. Our identities do not come from the things we own or the people we know, and if they do, then we have strayed off the path. For the Christian, this life is about righteousness, this life is about serving. 'Store up for yourselves treasure in Heaven'. This is not widely taught from the pulpits today. Looking around, one can see the majority of Christians pursuing the same things the World pursues: large bank accounts, retirement, bigger and better toys, etc. What a shame. Has the Western Church forgotten the words of God?

'And be not conformed to this WORLD: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.' -Romans 12:2

'That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the WORLD;' -Philippians 2:15

'But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the WORLD is crucified unto me, and I unto the WORLD.' -Galatians 6:14

'Love not the WORLD, neither the things [that are] in the WORLD. If any man love the WORLD, the love of the Father is not in him.' -1 John 2:15

Why are modern 'Christians' pretending that they are going to be here forever? This life is so so short. And Christians are called to be 'lights in the world', not chameleons. Light is different than darkness, different in every way, they are complete and utter opposites. So, if Christians are called to be 'lights', and the world is 'dark', that means... the obvious. We all grew up singing that old Sunday School ditty, 'This Little Light of Mine' . The idea is that you 'let your little light shine' by claiming Jesus and talking about him with others. Well... that's only partly true. It would certainly be nice and comfy if that was all that was involved in 'letting your little light shine'. But, much to our carnality's sorrow, there is more...much more. 1 Peter 2:9 calls Christians a 'peculiar people'. Peculiar is Peculiar. The idea is that Believers are so different than the world that they earn the title 'peculiar'. An evidence that a Christian is walking the right path is when 'normal' people call him/her 'weird':

"You mean you don't care how much money you make??"

"Oh my gosh! You don't have a TV????"

"What do you mean that you spent your retirement??"

"Why in the world do you want more children!? Don't you want to have some fun in life?"

And so on and so forth. When a Christian decides to become homeless and peculiar, 'normal' people usually shout 'legalism!' or 'Pharisee!', or, "Works don't make you holy! They don't save you!" Such 'normal' people apparently haven't read the New Testament, at least, they did not retain any of it. They got half the story though, the easy part: Salvation and righteousness are obtained through Christ's blood alone. But they are missing the rest of the tale, which is: The outworking of that obtained righteousness in every single aspect of daily life. God gets very specific about this, there is no wiggle room. The New Testament is full of instruction about dress, worship, finances, marriage, etc. Those are not some outdated precepts for first century toga wearers, they are the commandments of God that apply to all Christians, at all times and places. A favorite practice of the modern Western Church is the 'relative game'. "What's good for you is not good for me"! What rubbish! In its desire to live in the world and be of the world, with Christ as an added bonus, the Western Church has forsaken God's call to be 'lights in the world'. Modern 'Christians' have reduced that idea down to a cute little ditty. They live just like the rest of the world, with Christ as their 'ticket to heaven'.

'Because strait [is] the gate, and NARROW [is] the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.' -Matthew 7:14

The gate is strait and the path is narrow. Biblical Christianity is a way of life, not a prayer you said at 12, not a trip to church on Sunday, not a name you occasionally mention around friends, not a few measly bucks you toss into the plate. It is a way of living, a way of walking and talking. From nail polish to money in the bank, it must guide and rule all. Why? Because this world is not a Christian's home. Our job is not to settle in and get complacent and comfortable. Our job is to be lights, to be peculiar people in a 'crooked and perverse nation'. It is the task of being homeless, like Jesus, like Abraham; unattached to the concerns and cares of this present life. So alienated that people scream, "What's wrong with you???".

'If the WORLD hate you, ye know that it hated me before [it hated] you. If ye were of the WORLD, the WORLD would love his own: but because ye are not of the WORLD, but I have chosen you out of the WORLD, therefore the WORLD hateth you.' -John 15:18-19

Scripture never said that true Christianity was easy. It is a 'narrow way' and 'few there be that find it'. If a 'Christian' can fit in with 'the norm', there is a very serious problem. But if a Christian identifies more with the homeless man on the sidewalk, rather than with the lady holding all the shopping bags, then scripture would say that such a person is on the right path.

Sojourners. Wanderers. Pilgrims. Strangers.

'Sometimes I think of Abraham

How one star he saw had been lit for me

He was a stranger in this land

And I am that no less than he'

Giving Thanks

2009-11-26T09:27:00.002-06:00

'And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.' - Colossians 3:17

Have we made a habit of giving thanks to God in all things? In this culture we devote one day to giving thanks. We spend this time with family and friends, stuffing our faces, talking and laughing. It is a good tradition, and it is a good day. But looking at life through Christian lenses, a believer should see every day as a 'Thanksgiving Day', because that is what each and every day is. But we all find various reasons not to be thankful. The cares and burdens of this life so quickly convince us all that we have it worse than somebody else. I encourage you to daily take stock of your many blessings, of all your reasons to be thankful. First on the list should always be Jesus Christ. He is our savior; God's Son, who has freed us from death and hell, and has seated us in heavenly places with him. What a thing to praise and be thankful for each day! Through him we have obtained eternal life! He is the means by which we can give thanks in all things, the starting point of our thanksgiving. Count your blessings and be thankful. If you have money in the bank, a roof over you, and food on the table then you are among the richest people in the world. Health is a blessing, mobility is a blessing. Just two miles down the road from me lives a boy who is paralyzed from the neck down, bound to a chair for the rest of his life. Oh Lord! Teach me to give thanks in all I do! Instruct me in this matter of counting my blessings and giving thanks!

Happy Thanksgiving

Waiting...

2009-11-16T17:21:00.005-06:00

The tea kettle popped and hissed, its foggy glass bottom steadily licked by blue propane flames. The water sat motionless, as it had for several moments, and I sat on the floor staring up at stove, kettle, and water. What had begun as irritation over not getting my tea quickly enough, soon turned into a moment of introspective reflection. Why, exactly, did I want my tea water to boil instantly? Hmmm... At that moment I had the cat upon my lap. It lay silently, quite pleased to stay in one place and savor a moment or two of rest. With my hand upon its body, I felt it breathe, felt the softness of its fur. The house around was at peace as well, nothing stirred save the dancing flame up on the stove. I breathed a sigh and found I was contented. Why, I could set there forever and wait for the water to boil, that would be just fine! What a change of heart! But how had it come about? Very quickly...as soon as I decided that it should. The moment I questioned the importance of water boiling quickly was the moment I realized that it wasn't important at all. I saw that there was more joy to be found in waiting for the tea than there would be in actually drinking it. Seated there on the kitchen tiles, I recalled the many times this truth had occured during my life. I thought of Christmas as a child, how the anticipation of it was greater than the actual day. Looking back in time, I saw the joy of seemingly 'miserable' car trips, the grand times with family in route to some sought destination. Indeed, there was more laughter in the crammed car than at the desired location! Funny how I couldn't see that at those times. Of course, I think I am getting better now. I seem to be able to stop now within the waiting and enjoy it to the full, instead of finding when it has passed that it was the best time of all. May we all learn to sit back and find the worth in waiting. Let's all take the time to set on the floor, hold a warm kitten, listen to a silent house, and just enjoy the moment. And then, there! Look! The water is boiling!

The Legacy of Rich Mullins

2009-11-12T21:37:00.007-06:00

Ah! It has been so long since my last post. Shame on me! At the very least blogs should be updated every two weeks, lest one's readership (if any) be lost. Well, be that as it may. Here is my latest.

I have been lately digging into the music and writings of Rich Mullins. What a true follower of Christ he was! Satan tried to stop his witness by killing him in a horrific car accident at the young age of 41, but the enemy's plan failed. If anything, Rich is MORE of a witness ten years after his death. I recently purchased a DVD of one of his last concerts. Not only is the music inspiring, but what he has to say between the songs is as well. He was a man who lived out Christ's teachings. A man who (big shock!) actually took Jesus at his word! All the proceeds from his music (he should have been a millionaire) went to his Church. He only kept what was necessary for basic needs. Towards the end of his life he had been living and working on a reservation in New Mexico, teaching music to young children. He had a true servant's heart. The understanding that Jesus loved the poor, and was poor himself, is not very common in our society. We choose to ignore the 'eye of the needle' passage, I believe, at our peril. How we (modern 'Christians') have watered down the words of Jesus; the dangerous, uncomfortable, searing words of Jesus. Rich Mullins however, embraced and lived those words. The legacy he left is one that points exclusively to Christ, not to his own talent or popularity. When he looks at you, even through a screen, you can see the Heaven in his eyes, the look of another world. A look that says, 'I am not of this world, and I long to go home. And if all of you could but realize the joy in living for, and being obedient to Christ'. Rich Mullins is now home.

Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I want the same light that shines in Rich Mullin's eyes to shine in mine.

The Coming of Autumn

2009-09-14T16:16:00.002-05:00

Let the Creation proclaim that he is Lord! Indeed, I see God the most in nature it seems. Autumn is the dearest time of year to me. There's something magical to it I guess, a hidden power that speaks of things beyond the normal mundane routines of American life. With the dying of the year there seems to be a deep and concealed promise...the promise of a new life perhaps, to come with the next Spring. It reminds me of Good Friday, that dreadful day when Jesus was killed. Looking back on it though, we Christians can see beyond the death and pain, because we know what is coming on Sunday...the resurrection, the new life. So, for all of its sadness, that day also held a great hope. I often find it odd that so many people are enamored with Fall Time, after all, everything is dying. Yet people find beauty in it, unspeakable beauty, painful beauty even. Truly, we can do this with ease because we know in the back of our minds that Spring shall come once more. The trees, grass, and flowers will be reborn. What a glorious thing! As a Christian I realize too that death has no power over me, no victory. I am free from death because of what Christ did during his own Autumn, Winter, and Spring. He died in Autumn, lay in the grave during Winter, and rose with the dawn of Spring; three days, three seasons. Nature reflects his work of redemption, and it is always wonderous to view it with that perspective. 'The heavens proclaim him'.

The 'Identity' Quest.

2009-07-24T18:04:00.004-05:00

Everybody has it... what they dub, 'their identity'. It is 'who they are'. But how does one get an 'identity'? Well...experience for starters. Everyone speaks in grand terms about their 'experiences', the occurrences (good or bad) throughout their lives that have shaped them into 'who they are today'. These, as well as carefully selected cultural fads, form what people call 'their identity'. Most people will identify their identity with a certain group in the culture, the 'cool', the 'intellectuals', 'the conservatives', the 'liberals'. Each person attaches themselves to one or the other. This tie creates a solid foundation for people, a warm blanket of security. Perhaps your 'identity' is not a joyful one, mayhap it is doleful, bitter, or depressed. Regardless, it is security...and history shows clearly humanity's obsession with security, even at the expense of freedom, health, and sanity.

I guess this all goes without saying and some would shout 'duh!' at me. Yes, well my beef is not with this identity obsession in particular, such an obsession is to be expected within the ranks of depraved humanity. My deal is with this mark of spiritual bankruptcy being found within the people of the Church! Maybe to some this goes without saying. What a tragedy if such are unbelievers, because the Church ought to be an example of Christ's holiness! And if there are such who are believers... to them I would proclaim, 'woe unto you'!

How can Christians buy into this identity quest? How can we base who we are off of cultural groups and fads, off of our mere human experience? Hmmm...lack of total surrender to Christ comes to mind...Truth is, the Church of the West is lukewarm, period. We have tossed out God's Word in favor of tailor-made spirituality, that is, 'God whenever I want him'...'God whenever I'm feeling all emotional in church on Sunday'. The straight reality is that our Christianity is completely separated from our 'identities'. Sure, we may acknowledge that God had a hand in some of our personal experiences, but he by no means defines the whole. He is pepper on the burger, cinnamon in the cocoa...a nice added spice to life...but not the life itself. This is lukewarmness. This is why the secular world scoffs at Christians. It's not that believers just don't love everyone enough, hippies can do that (not to mention good Buddhists), it is because we are not leading Holy lives, lives set apart from this world. It is because our 'identity' is not found in Christ, who is all in all.

Really, church people! Jesus Christ died and rose so that we might 'walk in newness of life'*. Christ is to be the 'identity' of the christian. We need not frantically seek after our own personal 'image' and list of creeds like everyone else! Christ will define us. If we allow him to live through us there will be nothing but peace, and an eternal rest from the tiresome upkeep of our carnal 'identity'. The way shall become open for us to minister to this dark hurting world, to be accurate representatives of Christ. Otherwise, we are too occupied with ruling the private universe of 'me' to bother ourselves with spreading the gospel, or taking care of widows and orphans. If Christians do not surrender themselves fully to Christ, if they do not lay down their carnal 'identities', then God can be nothing but a vending machine for them, a benevolent grandaddy who issued us a 'get out of jail free card' upon salvation, who lives in the church building and has tea with us there every Sunday at 9:00 in the morning, and occasionally on Wednesday's at 7:00 in the evening; a good friend who we sometimes mention in passing to other good friends throughout the week.

Fact is people, God is not that...That is not his deal. That is not Christianity. Jesus Christ means more than that. He came so that we might each become him in turn...a billion Christs running around...not a haggle of carnal, half surrendered, culture following hypocrites who squeal out 'grace covers all' whenever a serious believer attempts to hold us accountable. He came so that we might be set free from the 'identity quest' once and for all. No more confusion, no more false security. Trade it all in for a real 'identity'...Jesus Christ.

* Romans 6

2009-07-07T14:36:00.000-05:00

Well...I'm not doing a very good job at this! It's been far too long since my first post! I suppose I have been rather busy. So much has occurred in my life of late! There have been many changes, not in the least bit comfortable I might say! I believe God is putting me through the grist mill. And I asked him to do it...Ouch! That is a curious thing when you lead the life of a Christian...You are free in Christ...free to be molded by him. I've heard it said that if you dub yourself 'a christian' and yet remain the same that something is wrong. To be a Christian means change...uncomfortable change at times, but always change with a sweet outcome. Christ, in his mission to win our hearts and minds, knows exactly what we can take; 'he never tries us more than we are able to bear', the Word says. If we are serious about our walk of faith, then Christ will change us, but not destroy us. Satan is the destroyer; Christ is the Savior. Some speak of despair and condemnation as being 'the work of the Lord'. How sad! I myself have fallen prey to this satanic deception at times. It is like a cancer, poisoning our bodies and even leeching out to affect others, especially the people closest to us. Christ's change is always firm, even hurtful, but it leads down a pathway to healing. When we Christians open ourselves to it we must be careful not to take the Devil's detour. His path would lead us from 'Godly sorrow which leads unto repentance' to a pit of depression and stagnation. Having begun the journey of change with God we sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that the detour we took is still in God's will, when all the while he is shouting for us to get out of the pit! That has occurred with me during this period of 'molding' in my life. Often I am tempted to plunge downward with utterings like, 'it's no use', and 'I'll never rise above this'. Luckily, I have realized that it is not God's desire for me to say and think such things. He doesn't want me in the pit, he wants me walking the pathway that leads towards true life! Sometimes the changes God brings about in our lives can seem pretty extreme, to say the least. We must continually cling to him during these periods, constantly seeking his face in prayer. Because Satan is always nearby, ready to cut us off from the Savior. His lies are many: 'You're no good! Look what a mess you have made! Look at the people you've hurt! How can you live with yourself?' Christians cannot afford to listen to these deceptions. Let God complete his work in you. Abide in him, be attentive. Often we ask for God to 'show us our sin', or 'change my heart', and then promptly forget that we have done so! Then Christ begins to work and we scream and cry. "What is this! Why is God trying me so?" Let us be serious! I speak this firm word to myself as well as to my fellow believers. To be a true Christian, to really follow Jesus, we must be open and willing to change, and courageous enough to see it through. God will guide us along the rocky path of change if we abide in him. But we must ever be on the lookout for the Devil's detours to the pit!

Hello

2009-05-26T22:06:00.000-05:00

Hello, I am John. Welcome to my blog. Here I intend to talk about God and Jesus Christ, both their presence in my life and in the world about me. I probably won't post as much as I want to or ought, but that is that I suppose. Well...guess I'll jump right into it! I shall try very hard to keep my thoughts ordered and coherent, forgive me if I stray...

In my personal christian walk I am constantly thinking about and considering this world; the depravity and hopelessness of it. Often I am led to despair. But should this be so? Should a Christian's mindset be influenced to this kind of thinking? No! After all, we are to be beacons of light and hope in this world, examples to those who do not have Christ and have every reason to despair. So why do I do it? Why do I get depressed? Simply, it occurs when I fail to abide in the Savior. Here in this world of chaos and strife there is a constant battle inside us between what our flesh dubs 'reality' and what God calls 'our reality in Christ'. As we walk day by day we come across situations that force us to choose between these two views of the world. It is often difficult to look beyond the blackness of sin and see the 'patches of Godlight', as C.S. Lewis called them. Christ must become the center of our exsistence if we are to consistently spot these patches in any given situation. My tendency is certainly to look through the eyes of my flesh verses seeing things the way God sees them. This human habit places my relationship with God in unfocused territory. As seen through the eyes of fallen humanity, this earth holds little evidence of a loving creator who desires to save us. Indeed, it takes looking for God to find him in this place. And he is here, everywhere. That is a great revelation when it comes...but I forget it. Wonder of wonders! How? It is a good question. When viewing the world through Christ I see God absolutely everywhere, there is no wondering where he might be. The beauty of nature, a loving word, justice served; all are evidences. They are here in abundance. God is here, yeast in the dough. And slowly and ever surely he is permeating this world. Love is often slow but it gets the job done eventually and always thoroughly. But we humans want SPEED! We demand IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION. Well, God is not in the business of granting superficial desires of the flesh. His holy will is to reclaim this world for his own. He is taking no 'time saving' short cuts, no detours. He is focused. And so I, in human weakness, loose sight of him and stupidly forget that I am supposed to be aiding Christ in the great war for the cosmos. That is my purpose! That is every Christian's purpose. How to execute it is between the individual and God, but we have an anchor! So why am I constantly taking a file to the chain? Because I want a relationship with God on my terms, I would wish to define it according to human principle and 'logical' thought. Ha! God wants real relationships with us, based on real love. Such a relationship takes commitment and sacrifice. I must be willing to lay aside my spastic tendencies and seek God where he can be found. I must abide in him. Whenever I fail to do this my relationship with him stalls. Hopefully I am not far from truly realizing that the blackness of humanity is not worth viewing through anything else but Christ. That realization will come as I further surrender myself to God's slow work of love in me.